"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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