I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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