I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
