you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he was CRYING into my vagina
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
