last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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