just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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