i dont even know how to be here
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
