I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
