He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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