can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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