Your tits are I can't wait for
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
