she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
