I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
