Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
