This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
