And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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