Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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