my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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