May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize