Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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