Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
