Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
