my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
