Porn is love you can see.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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