My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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