Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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