Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
