you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
