What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had sex bonerless
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well you can't waste a boner
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
