idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
