how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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