It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
