So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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