I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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