I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize