Your tits are I can't wait for
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
