i already hear my dad disowning me
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
