im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize