put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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