He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize