I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
