how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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