just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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