Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize