Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
