you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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