i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.