East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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