No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...