i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
