Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
