Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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