The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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