he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
