Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i just had sex bonerless
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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