Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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