Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
FUCK WHALES
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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