Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
