It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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