There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize