pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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