A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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