I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
