I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
